The Art Of Saying “No”

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m living in a giant pool, constantly treading water. You could say, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. It seems I need to practice the art of saying “NO”.

The Art Of Saying "NO" by Tara Perillo|Paleo Cajun Lady the art of saying no The Art Of Saying “No” IMG 6496
The Art Of Saying “No”

Some of you, who are around the same age, may remember that old TV commercial, with the woman who sang about bringing home the bacon….and, frying it up it the pan….oh, and never letting him (whoever him was) forget he’s a man. Basically, they were telling us women that we could do everything and anything. We set out to build careers, families, friendships, and livelihoods. We juggled everything, and always took on more. We learned to say “Yes, I can have and do it all!”. To say “No” would have made us look weak. As empowered women, the last thing we wanted was to look soft and outdated.

The downside to saying “yes” all the time is you eventually wear yourself down. Typically, this will start to manifest itself in physical illness. I believe the surge of autoimmune disease diagnoses is partially a result of all this “yes” dominance. By saying “yes” to everything, we’ve created so much pressure and stress for ourselves. Eventually, something has got to give.

Now, I am in no way an expert in the art of saying “no”. I’m pretty much what you could call a work in progress. Slowly, I’m learning how to analyze whether a request deserves a “yes” or a “no”. And, I call it an art because most often we cannot blurt out a quick “no”. We have to carefully determine what we can fit into our already busy lives.

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Overwhelmed? You may want to say “No”.

How to determine if you should accept or deny a request:

  1.  If you accept this request, will it help you as well? For example, if your boss asks you to work on a weekend, and you accept, will it help to further your career?
  2. If you decline the request, will it hurt you in any way? For example, take the instance above, and decline. Will you lose your job or lose a promotion?
  3. Do you have too much on your plate already? For example, if your Saturday is filled with shuttling the kids around, and someone asks you to run an errand for them, would you have to rearrange your whole schedule to help them?
  4. Can you negotiate the request? For example, you may not be able to run the errand above on Saturday, but you could fit it in on Sunday. Would that work for the person?

And, that’s it. If you make the process too complicated, it’ll take too long to formulate an answer. Basically, if it won’t hurt you to say “no”, or if you already have too much on your plate, you say “no”. If the request will help you greatly, will hurt you if you decline, or you can negotiate it, you may want to say “yes”. But, the choice is still yours to make.

How to gracefully tell someone “No”:

  1.  Understand that the person making the request probably has no idea how busy you already are. Don’t expect people to know your schedule. Simply explaining that your plate is full at this time is usually enough for people to understand. You don’t need to give them an itemized list of the things you’re doing. It’s just easy to say, “I would love to help you; but, I barely have time to do everything in my schedule as it is. Perhaps, I could help you at another time.”
  2. Never try to negotiate with children or fur-babies. A simple, yet firm “No” is best. LOL!
  3. If it’s a request that you just don’t want to do…..ever, it’s best to be up front and say, “No, I’m sorry. I can’’t do it.”, and smile. Most of the time we feel the need to explain; but, that’s not necessary. They’re asking for your time, service, space, or whatever. If giving them what they ask does not bring you joy, you owe no explanation.
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Remember to take time for yourself.

Obviously, saying “no” to some people is going to be easier than saying it to others. Family is notoriously hard to decline. But, like I constantly tell my husband, if something happens to you, or you get too sick to help others, what’s going to happen to them then. You’re no good to anyone, including yourself, if you’re overstressed, exhausted, and spread too thin. Sometimes, you just need to practice the art of saying “No”.

As always, I wish you good health……and, good food!

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Tara Perillo

Welcome all. I am Tara Perillo, herbalist, homeopath, yoga and fitness instructor, and healthy foodie . After successfully reaching remission of my lupus symptoms, through changes in my diet, exercise, and lifestyle, I wrote the ebook, Sickness To Fitness Quick Start Guide. I am also honored to have my paleo and AIP recipes featured in Paleo Magazine, Paleo Living Magazine, Shape Magazine Online, 85 Amazing AIP Breakfasts, The Paleo AIP Instant Pot Cookbook, and blogs by The Paleo Mom, Kris Kresser, Whole New Mom and many others. My focus is to help others become stronger in every facet of their lives. Join me to become stronger in health, mind, body, and spirit, together!

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Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review

One of the most important factors in putting my lupus into remission was getting my stress under control.  Let’s face it, we live in very stressful times right now.  Not only do we have our daily stresses, but we also have to worry about a slow economy, terrorism, and people just going bat sh*t crazy on us.  Stress is everywhere we look!

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Eliminate Your Stress- RELAX ebook Review

We may not be able to take away the stresses of life; but, we can change how we deal with them. By practicing certain techniques, we are able to process stress in a much less damaging way.  That’s what I learned to do by performing the activities in RELAX: 60+ Inexpensive And Easy Ways To Naturally Eliminate Stress by Michele Spring from Thriving On Paleo.

In RELAX, Michele gives you easy to apply tips (many that are completely free) for eliminating your stress. She covers activities such as crafts, movement, thoughts and actions, travel, food, DIY spa, and even expensive but worth it treats.  Each page is filled with workable solutions to eliminating your stress.  There are even links to helpful apps, lessons, and videos. Michele has even included tutorials and recipes for amazing DIY spa products that will send your head straight into the clouds. Simply looking at the beautiful photos in RELAX took my stress away.

To give you a little background on Michele, she is the blogger behind ThrivingOnPaleo.com.  She is a wife and mother of two young boys.  She was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, and extreme adrenal fatigue.  Like me, she found success with healing her symptoms through following The Paleo Approach.  Her story is truly inspirational! I encourage you to check out her blog.

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RELAX by Michele Spring

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Do yourself a favor, get this helpful ebook. Then, practice the techniques within. We all know the importance of getting our stress under control.  For me, it was the key that opened the door to managing my symptoms.  Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

As always, I wish you good health…….and, good food!

*This post contains affiliate links.  If you make a purchase through one of these links, I may receive compensation. Thank you for helping to support my blogging efforts, here at Paleo Cajun Lady.- Tara Perillo

stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review fullsizeoutput 281f

Tara Perillo

Welcome all. I am Tara Perillo, herbalist, homeopath, yoga and fitness instructor, and healthy foodie . After successfully reaching remission of my lupus symptoms, through changes in my diet, exercise, and lifestyle, I wrote the ebook, Sickness To Fitness Quick Start Guide. I am also honored to have my paleo and AIP recipes featured in Paleo Magazine, Paleo Living Magazine, Shape Magazine Online, 85 Amazing AIP Breakfasts, The Paleo AIP Instant Pot Cookbook, and blogs by The Paleo Mom, Kris Kresser, Whole New Mom and many others. My focus is to help others become stronger in every facet of their lives. Join me to become stronger in health, mind, body, and spirit, together!

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
Twitter stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review twitterFacebook stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review facebookPinterest stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review pinterestGoogle Plus stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review googleplusYouTube stress Eliminate Your Stress- Relax ebook Review youtube